Week 5: Building Trust
A Foundation for Success
When we talk about strong teams, we tend to focus on skills, strategies, and organizational structures. But behind every successful team—and behind every relaxed, confident leader—is something less tangible but far more powerful: trust.
Not just the kind you earn. But the kind you give.
Yes, trust is a risk. But it’s also a value—a leadership value—and one of the most important tools in your toolbox if you want to build a team that truly thrives.
Trust as a Leadership Value
If you’ve read many of my other posts and are familiar with my RELAX formula, then you understand that relaxed leadership isn’t about being laid back or indifferent. It’s about being grounded and self-assured—secure enough in yourself to offer trust first, even when it feels a little uncomfortable.
Too many business professionals see trust as something you keep locked up until someone proves they deserve it. But that’s a problem because when you withhold trust, you’re often holding back the very thing someone needs to succeed. People generally rise (or fall) to meet the expectations we set for them. So, when you treat them as if they’re not trustworthy, it almost always becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Offering trust first, especially from a leader, tells someone: I believe in you. I think you're capable. I want to see you succeed.
That kind of trust feels good to receive. And it usually inspires people to live up to it.
What Trust Looks Like in Practice
Let’s be honest—offering trust doesn’t mean turning off your brain or giving up oversight. It means stepping back enough to let others show you what they’re capable of.
Many years ago, I had a young supervisor who reported to me. I trusted him to lead his team, meet our goals, and manage his people responsibly. For a while, it looked like everything was going great. They were hitting all their targets and he was saying all the right things when I’d meet with him. But eventually, we discovered he was quietly approving unauthorized overtime and trying to cover it up. That trust had been misused.
The extent of his infractions were so severe that I ended up having to fire him.
But here’s what’s important: the rest of the supervisors saw how I handled it. They saw that I was fair, honest, and transparent—but I didn’t pull back trust from any of them or punish the whole team for one person’s choices. So instead of being nervous or afraid, they doubled down on the trust I continued to give to them. They worked even harder to deserve my trust. And we built something better from it.
That’s the thing about trust—it’s always a calculated risk. But when it pays off, it multiplies.
How Trust Feels on Both Sides
When you offer someone trust—especially before they’ve fully “earned it”—it creates a healthy kind of pressure. Most people don’t want to let someone down who believes in them. They want to rise to the occasion.
When you receive trust, especially from someone you respect, it feels like a challenge and a compliment rolled into one. If done effectively, it lights a fire.
But when trust is withheld—when every decision is second-guessed, when you're micromanaged, when you're given responsibility without authority—it breeds frustration and resentment, which usually leads to disengagement. That’s not what a relaxed leader is trying to do.
All of this is true whether you’re leading a department or collaborating as a peer. You don’t need a title or authority in order to lead with trust.
Good Culture Starts with Trust
Trust isn’t just a reward for past performance—it’s an investment in future success. Demanding that someone earn your trust makes it transactional, turning it into a payment for work that’s already complete. Relaxed leaders are forward thinkers, so we don’t see trust as a transaction, we see it as an investment in the culture we’re trying to build—a culture that becomes the foundation for all the tremendous things our team will go on to accomplish.
Yes, offering trust takes courage. And sure, sometimes you’ll get burned. But more often than not, you’ll set the stage for your team members to become amazing performers who accomplish goals because they want to live up to the trust you’ve given them.
As relaxed leaders, our job isn’t to demand perfection but to facilitate progress. It’s to create the kind of environment where people feel empowered to grow, take responsibility, and work together. That kind of culture starts with trust.
Call to Action
Take a look at your current work relationships—especially if you're in a leadership role. Are there places where you're holding back trust?
Are you micromanaging?
Demanding daily updates?
Questioning every decision?
If so, choose one relationship and try something different. Back off—just a little—and trust them more. Then tell them what you’re doing, and why.
Say it plainly: “I want to give you more space because I trust you to handle this. If you need me, I’m here. But I think you’ve got it.”
That kind of trust isn’t just earned—it’s given. And it can change everything.
If you’d like to go deeper into the REAL Values that Relaxed Leaders live by, then check out these articles from our archives:
RESPECT is a great place for any leader to start.
ENGAGE effectively with others (and the world).
ACCEPT others because of their differences, not in spite of them.
LEAD with these REAL values and learn to relax!